Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
