The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
