I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
