I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
