Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
