Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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