i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
