Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
