I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
