I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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