Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
