The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
