ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
