Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
