so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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