Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
