i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
