You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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