When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
