The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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