I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
