you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Couch. On fire.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
