we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
