Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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