yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
