did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
