You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize