just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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