And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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