i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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