Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Why is your signature on my underwear?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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