508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
