she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
