I think I died a long time ago.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
