life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
