I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
