Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They took my balls.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
