Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
