oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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