R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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