i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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