Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my shit smells like andre
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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