woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
