Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
