your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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