very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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