Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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