can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
