3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
