There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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