We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
