its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I sprained my soul last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
