The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize