I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
