there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
