You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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