At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
