how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
