i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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