i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it's like iHOP with fire
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
