Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
